Mindfulness

The last couple weeks I have been obsessed with Paolo Nutini, a Scottish singer/songwriter, who sings soulful and bluesy songs. He is fantastic and I truly recommend that you look into him if you have not heard of him before. The man got semi-American radio airplay for a little while with his song called 'New Shoes'. I am only telling you this for context. Another one of his songs is called 'Rewind,' which is a song of regret and wishing you could go back to a certain point in your life. Get some more time or maybe even do something differently. This song triggered a whole bunch of thoughts that I have been writing about for a few days now. Mainly about how each command of the remote or radio plays a big part in labeling our lives. I have rewind years, fast forward years, pause years, and most recently play years. Each command is actually a feeling that you have about your current state.  As a teenager I would say that I was in the fast forward phase of my life....

"I am getting too old for this." Sometimes I think we get stuck between the nostalgia of the past that sometimes we desire to re-live it, but when we do we often get this feeling that something is not the same. I think many of us blame the fact that we are old therefore we can't party like we use to, but the truth is I am more fit than I was when I was 18. Something else is different. My mindset. My soul. Myself.  I think the truth lies in not only am I older so I cannot handle certain thing as well as I use to, but also that maybe those things I use to do were not healthy to begin with. Maybe those things were not things I did out of a healthy place, but instead out of a non-healthy place. Trying to fit in, trying to forget, trying to cope, or just trying in general. Now when I chase that I just feel like an absolute fool.  So, truth is, I don't want it. I don't want to chase it anymore. I want to treat my body well and have meaningful conversations w...

It has been awhile since I have written a proper post, so decided it was best to write out my thoughts. I went on a long vacation to Scotland, England, Ireland, and Northern Ireland. I drove on the “wrong” side of the road. Hiked up Scottish hills on the Isle of Skye. Navigated through some of England’s most famous industrial cities. Totally worth every moment. Every time I travel I feel something inside myself shift. No vacation is ever the same and the lesson is never the same either. Growth though is always the similarity. I get reminded of things, learn things about myself, and feel more connected to the world around me. This trip is no different. We do need to take moments to look around and just enjoy what the world has to offer. Sometimes we might think it is difficult due to financial issues or if we are parents, but at the end of the day when you do something for yourself you become better and more effective. Traveling is wonderous for the soul. Now I am preparing for ano...

A journal prompt a few weeks ago asked me what I believed in. I have to admit that I have a hard time with this, because my beliefs have nothing to do with a conclusion. It might not even have specifics. I do not have a strong believe that God exists or that there is life after death or that there is some sort of reward system that determines if you lived a pious life. Those things I am undecided on, because I do not have enough evidence to sway me and there are so many different versions of these sorts of ideas that all of them seem both equally plausible as well as inconclusive. Of course if you believe in any of that then good for you, but my brain does not work that way. I cannot conclusively give myself to any organized belief system, because there is so much I am unsure of. I do believe in a process though that brings meaning to people's present life. I believe we should be kind, we should be honest, and we should all serve a purpose that is bigger than ourselves. Some find...

Sometimes I do random journal prompts in my bullet journal. A few days ago it prompted me to think about my strengths. At first all the joke answers came to mind first--I am an excellent bullshitter and can create imaginative games like a boss. Then I thought of the more academic answers which would be that I am great with language, persuasion, argument, and recognizing patterns. I am a big picture kind of person. Always have been even as a kid. After a few moments I forced myself to brainstorm even more, because everything seemed superficial. I wanted to find to my core what it is that I am good at. Truth is I am an expert at failing. This is something that I try to convey to my students and the perfectionists in my life. Challenge, struggle, and failure is exactly what we need. You learn nothing by doing well all the time. Our SPED, ELL, and students who struggle in certain subjects have an advantage that they run away from. They know what it means to have to work hard for someth...

The thoughts I have been thinking about lately is language. Words are powerful and without even meaning to we can make people feel bad or make people feel under appreciated. When I was younger I had this friend, whom I am still friends with, and she was really into fantasy books including romance. I was someone who took pride in loving non-fiction books and I thought those sorts of things were cheesy. Now, I have never ready any of those books. But because I did not understand it I would often tease her about it. Little did I know that if I asked her simple questions like "What is it that you love about those books?" I might have learned something about her and I also might have learned that these books can be good for me. Eventually I read Harry Potter and had to apologize to my friend. I see this in my students. Kids who have a hard time reading put down kids who love reading. Partially because they do not understand how anyone could find joy in something that gives the...

I love taking personality tests. Not sure if there is truly anything scientific about them, because, well, humans are complicated; however, it is fun to intellectualize as well as have the vocabulary to talk about yourself. I have taken many personality tests and so far my favorite is definitely the Meyer Briggs test. I have always tested and been classified as ENFP. (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.) Now, the question is, do we develop personalities naturally or are they molded by circumstances. Or is it a combination of both. Yes, the old nature vs. nurture debate. It is a debate that will never be solved yet one that should always be pondered. I can see why my circumstances made me an ENFP, but at the same time there are definitely people who have had similar experiences as myself and chose to go a different way. Hell, even see that in my students among siblings or even among students who have similar backgrounds. Some choose path A and the other...