Personality Types - 5 Self-Observations

I love taking personality tests. Not sure if there is truly anything scientific about them, because, well, humans are complicated; however, it is fun to intellectualize as well as have the vocabulary to talk about yourself. I have taken many personality tests and so far my favorite is definitely the Meyer Briggs test. I have always tested and been classified as ENFP. (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.)

Now, the question is, do we develop personalities naturally or are they molded by circumstances. Or is it a combination of both. Yes, the old nature vs. nurture debate. It is a debate that will never be solved yet one that should always be pondered.

I can see why my circumstances made me an ENFP, but at the same time there are definitely people who have had similar experiences as myself and chose to go a different way. Hell, even see that in my students among siblings or even among students who have similar backgrounds. Some choose path A and the others path B. What causes that? Having a good mentor or friend? Or just our natural brain processing that really is the backbone of our personalities? So many questions.

I decided though I was going to do an exercise. Pick five observations about myself that might be helpful to the people in my life. Might even help me learn to communicate my needs or have more sympathy for others as well. I actually encourage you to do the same. I would love to hear the observations that you make even if you do not use the lens of Meyer Briggs. I do think these are the things worth discussing with yourself.

1) Emotionally Private & Introverted Feelings 

Anyway. I am not someone who processes feelings out loud. This is a common ENFP trait. We love talking ideas, experiences, abstract, and sharing our insight after we have had time to process. And we love hearing other people's feelings and helping them anyway that we can. But when it comes to actual feelings most of the time I process those on my own. I want to make sure that I'm not crazy and I understand my feelings before I share them. Even when I share my feelings I never truly use emotional language terms instead I use intellectual terms.

There are only a few people in this world who I would share my true feelings with readily without giving myself time to process. Why? Because in order to feel that level of vulnerability I need certain things. Mostly knowing that someone will help the dialogue with myself to understand how I feel. I also feel like emotions tend to go away as well, for the most part, so I tend to just let it pass as well which usually works. Emotions are normally just temporary reactions that need to be thought about. 

2) Engage Mind 

Best way to get me into a verbal frenzy are abstract conversations or insane thought experiments. I want to know everything about the world and if I can create a game I will. If I can come up with a hypothetical question interesting enough I will think about it with everyone for days. I live in the gray. I love the gray. If you sound sure in your stance even if I agree with you, I will often play devil's advocate, because I am curious about how you can be so certain of something. So either I will find some new found wisdom I never thought of or you will get so upset that it will teach me never to question your foundations again. Apparently they are necessary. If my mind is not engaged and you are not willing to play along with the chaotic/childlike/storm that is my brain then more often than not my attention dies. I hate small talk. I want to talk about your zombie survival plans.

3) I don't ask for help.  

I don't ask for help.

The end.

Just kidding. I don't ask for help often. I hate being a burden on people and I rather be the one that does the helping. Service is one of my power words. I live to serve my fellow man especially my friends. If I ask you for help though. That is huge. I will also feel guilty for awhile about it. Just how my mind works. But if I ask you for help even a tiny thing like 'make sure I don't eat cookies' and you don't follow through on this then I often will feel unsafe. I want people around me who will help me complete my goals not derail them. I also do not want to have to explain myself either. The fact that I asked and put it out there means that it means a lot to me. I want to make sure I am successful. So if I ask for assistance that is huge and more often than not if you come through for me. I will make sure to always be there for you, and when I need help again, you will be the first person I go to. Why? You made me feel safe. You trusted and respected my wishes. You respected my answer. Sometimes that is all I need to let the floodgates of who I am both the vulnerable side and the funny side to come shining through.

4.) Introverted Hearts & Multi-Layered 

I am often described as a puppy. Full of energy, open, and positive. I am definitely that. Hell, I raced a border collie yesterday. The truth though is that I do not say "I love you" lightly. It is usually something that I reserve for the right moments and for the right people. I show affection through actions more than anything else. Did I show up to your event even though I was tired? Yes. That's a good sign. Did I bring you something after at the end of a crazy week? Yes. Good sign. Do I come to visit and check on you often? Yes. Good sign. So actions are good. And honestly that's how I judge the people around me as well. It is not in the amount of hugs or the verbiage that makes me feel secure. People lie. It is what you do.

There is definitely sides of myself that are can seem a bit contradictory.  As you go through the process of being friends with me you start to see more layers. Suppose the best way to find out more is to not interrogate me, but engage in dialogue where we exchange life stories and thoughts. If it makes sense to share something then I will. But I am not someone who divulges everything about me all at once. Or because you gave me drinks and interrogated me.  To me facts about me make no sense without meaning. So if we are talking about loss then I will share my experiences with loss. If we are talking about love then I will talk about one of the ones that got away. But I am not going to dump information on people and if I feel like it is more of an interrogation rather than dialogue then I will often get suspicious. Truth. Not sure why. But I definitely do.

So I am enthusiastic but I am also cautious. I am incredibly social, but need time alone to process all that the world has taught me.  I am child-like but I am also old-souled. I am super social and will have deep conversations with people, but I am not going to divulge everything all at once. It will come in pieces. You just have to ask the right questions and participate in understanding the human condition with me.

5.) I hate boxes. 

Not literal boxes. Literal boxes are amazing. They can be forts, castles, hats, storage, packages, and/or eventually turned into awesome fake medieval weaponry.

I digress. I like changes and I like living in a limitless world. Tell me I can't do something then I will automatically want to do it. Tell me I am someone who is bad at something. I will try to get better at it. Tell me I am going to fall or fail. I won't trust you. I don't want to be stagnant and I don't want people to see me that way. I want people to encourage me to always move forward with my goals. I want people to reaffirm that even when things are hard then I can definitely do it. I want people who see I am struggling and remind me to keep going. I mean... I was a night owl who became a morning person. You tell my high school friends that I would be waking up at 4:45. They would probably think you were high. Yet, I am and they are not high. You will never ever hear me say "this is who I am. always." Even this post. This is me right now. Who knows what will happen or what my next goals will be. I will probably have to update this next year.

And I will do the same for you. You have potential to do anything you want. I will help you get there and cheerlead you all the time. I'm good at that.

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I think though. At the end of the day what I gather from all this is that I want to be believed in and shown that all my layers are protected in the presence of the people around me.

Not sure if this was learned. Or this is just my personality. I want everything to matter in my life and I want to matter to the people in my life. I'm still growing though and I will continue to do so.