Getting Older

"I am getting too old for this."

Sometimes I think we get stuck between the nostalgia of the past that sometimes we desire to re-live it, but when we do we often get this feeling that something is not the same. I think many of us blame the fact that we are old therefore we can't party like we use to, but the truth is I am more fit than I was when I was 18. Something else is different. My mindset. My soul. Myself. 

I think the truth lies in not only am I older so I cannot handle certain thing as well as I use to, but also that maybe those things I use to do were not healthy to begin with. Maybe those things were not things I did out of a healthy place, but instead out of a non-healthy place. Trying to fit in, trying to forget, trying to cope, or just trying in general. Now when I chase that I just feel like an absolute fool. 

So, truth is, I don't want it. I don't want to chase it anymore. I want to treat my body well and have meaningful conversations with people who I can invest in and who invest in me. I don't want to carry things anymore. Or do the easy thing. I want to do the hard thing and the healthy thing. 

I have started off this year with a few high notes. I had some interactions that scared me, but I truly needed. And now I am officially hanging up the quantity race for quality whether that is friends, work, food, or beverages. 

So don't think of getting older as a loss of something, because really it is that we are gaining something that means more. Truly believe that. 

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