Mindfulness

A tradition I have kept since graduating High School is giving a year a chapter title. Some years were good, some years were devastating, and some years had a necessary point. Every year though acts a building block to who I am today just like chapters telling a tale. Table of Contents  1987-2001 CHILDHOOD 2001-2005 ADOLESCENCE  2005 the year of DOUBT 2006 the year of LOSS 2007 the year of the HOPE 2008 the year of ABANDON  2009 the year of UNKNOWN 2010 the year of RISK 2011 the year of LEARNING  2012 the year of PAYING DUES  2013 the year of ISOLATION  2014 the year of DEVELOPMENT 2015 the year of HOME 2016 the year of EXPANSION  2017 has officially been dubbed the year of FOLLOW THROUGH.   This year for me has really been about taking what I started in 2016 and making it a reality. Everything I did this year I either started, planned, or put it on a to-do list in the fall of 2016. That is why last year was about ...

My friend bought me a book, well it is more like a workbook, titled The Nocturnal Journal: A Late-Night Exploration of What's Really On Your Mind by Lee Crutchley. Proof that I have amazing friends who really know me, because I am both an insomniac and a strange contemplator of human existence. Sounds dramatic, yet, still very much true. I might be taking a few ideas from that workbook that I feel deserve more exploration. The first thing I want to explore is the past, present, and future. Growth or regressions, doesn't matter, humans transform with their experiences, yet we never take enough time to explore those changes to see if they are good ones or bad ones. Past:  My past is a mixed bag of experiences. I was blessed to have a wonderful family and some really great friends who challenged me. In middle school and high school, I was the ADHD kid who struggled with academics yet wrote blog posts about politics. I had intelligence, but I never really wanted to play the g...

It is easy to fall into a pitfall of absolutes, something I do often, because absolutes are easy. The idea that there are two different kinds of people rule followers and those who don't, or competent and incompetent, or healthy and unhealthy, or positive and negative. Truth is every single one of us fall into all categories it just depends on the what, who, and the when. We have all been toxic and healthy, we have all been positive and negative, and we have all been incompetent and competent. I suppose what this blog post is exploring is something uncomfortable... we are not as awesome as we think and at the same time we are not as bad as we think. We're a happy medium called human as long as we are balanced. As I was perusing Pinterest, I found a post that explored my personality type when we are in a toxic place and when we are in a healthy place. Truth is I found truth in both parts in different parts of my life. Example A:  A healthy ENFP is outgoing and welcomes new ...

Strangely enough I am in the middle of a Friends marathon and who knew a sitcom would inspire reflection. I have come to realize that what it means to be a friend is different to everyone. Even what people value in a friend can differ as well based on your personality. These are my thoughts on friendship: A friend is someone who knows you, roots for you, supports you, and adds positive value to your life. They can even challenge you by making you think about something new, go on an adventure with you, or point out something in you that you can work on. If you look at my friends they are all incredibly different people and I value that... crave it even. I would not want to be friends with someone just like me... I already have a friend like me... me. I want that contrast it is through those differences that make me grow as a person. I think for me friends accept you for who you are even if you are a bit strange. People who celebrate the quirks even if they do not partake in them. ...

"Begin to be now what you will be hereafter." - William James These quotes make sense to me intellectually, because what it is really asking of people is to live out their inner morality. To act on values they hold dear, to live out the dreams they talk about, and to start exhibiting the attributes they admire. Instead of passively live your life you should actively live the life you want to live. But what these quotes fail to talk about is how hard it truly is to live as you want to live. Sometimes what you value and what you need fight against one another. You want balance, but you also don't want to let anyone down. Sometimes though you need to let people down in order to maintain balance. You value honesty but you do not want to hurt someone's feelings, so sometimes you might have to choose which value you to run with. Sometimes you value being independent, but you do not want to be alone, so what does that look like? Humans, by nature, are hypocritical due to t...