Uncertainty

My mind in the Spring of 2020 was too loud for me to handle. Fall of 2020 my life was too busy for my thoughts to be processed. Now, I think I have forgotten how to process. I just wanted to explain my lack of blog posts as of late. 

Now that I am less busy and my mind has recovered slightly I plan to focus on three things: mindfulness, nutrition, and physical exercise. 

Uncertainty is exhausting. Exhausting. Not just a tired exhaustion it is every type of exhaustion layered on top of one another. Your body hurts from the tension that you hold, your mind hurts from trying to figure out what might happen and how it might impact you, and you are emotionally exhausted because there is never an off moment. Part of me just wants decisions to made so I can react to it... negatively or positively. It is the uncertainty part of it that makes it hard to cope. This is what makes a pandemic different from any other crisis I've experienced. It is a roller coaster of uncertainty and progress. 

Regardless though... the roller coaster will stop. We just need to keep telling ourselves that. It will stop. Focus on what you can control. 

So tomorrow I plan to do three things: 
1. Wake up. 
2. Drink a glass of water. 
3. Take a walk. 

I'll start small and build from there. 

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