Habits

 

“We are what we repeatedly do. Greatness then, is not an act, but a habit” ― Will Durant

This quote was a mantra of sorts for me starting in 2018. I created many routines for myself and from those routines I was able to accomplish a lot personally and professionally. The pandemic has thrown a massive wrench into those habits and since then the feeling of being 'on track' has not existed. Routines, regardless if they are enjoyable, are a foundation of our mental health. 

The best example of a routine that I had no idea mattered to me so much until the world stop was listening to music for my 30 minute commute to work. Missing my morning workout at the gym was a big thing that changed and my mind focused on that. Then I realized I was super grouchy in the mornings then it dawned on that I was missing that block of time where I would just listen to music to transition into or out of work. So I now make it a habit to listen to music on my stereo before work to get me pumped up. It's a temporary fix, but does not lend that psychological transition 

If I had land and property of my own then the habits I am missing out on could be turn towards cultivating the land, making the space pretty, or providing a serene escape from the noise. See my space has never annoyed me before, because in the grand scheme of things my apartment has always been my crash pad between social gathering, work duties, and walking around town to the various places I would go. Now it is everything my work, my social space, and my crash pad. Nothing separates these worlds and they all blend together creating a sense of blurred personal boundaries that have been a psychological block. 

I was most definitely a gatherer or a scout in prehistoric days. Staying in one place for too long makes me antsy not in a way that I don't know myself and I am afraid to face it. I know myself well and I am my own best company, but because I learn from what I experience and right now my only teachers are Netflix and books. I need more.  

Think we are all learning about ourselves in this pandemic. Some of us are cave-dwellers who want to nest and be self-sufficient. Others lack tribal connections and want to do whatever they want despite the dangers it poses on others. Then there are some who are learning to appreciate the mundane things in life that made life more connected whether that is saying hi to the front desk lady, walking to get my groceries, looking at a colleague across the way with a battled worn face of solidarity, or singing at the top of my lungs while trying not to die on my way to Salinas. Whatever lessons you've learned examine if the most rewarding habits in your coincide with the area of your life is thriving. I have yet to find the routines to place what I'm missing yet. With my second dose, coming tomorrow I hope to change that.