Anxiety
I am going to admit something to the world that hopefully might help someone.
I am currently suffering from some really bad anxiety. It comes in waves and mostly hits me around 8 o'clock, the time where I close out my day, and switch over to more quiet time activities.
Sometimes my thoughts are directed toward worry about my students, my friends, and my family. Sometimes my fear is directed towards myself as my brain tricks me into thinking I am sick when I am not.
There are times that these thoughts have triggered panic attacks and then other times where I can feel my anxiety impact my body. In the form of muscle aches, headaches, racing heart, upset stomach, and a feeling of pressure in my chest. Sadly... some of these symptoms overlap with Covid-19 symptoms and then the anxiety increases even more.
I am currently trying to break this cycle and manage it since dealing with the biological impacts of stress or anxiety thoughts are not fun. Nor are they sustainable.
My life before all this was quite active... maybe even too active..
On my weekdays I would socialize with 200+ people. I would walk 15,00-25,000 steps whether I worked out or not. My mind was engaged in a million tasks for eight hours straight. I only sat down for twenty minutes from 8:00-3:30pm. On the weekends I would do reflective quiet things to process my week and sometimes even used that time to have quality time with friends or family. To go from that to this.... means I have a lot of unused energy that sadly are fixating on the worst.
Talking with friends has helped. Reminding myself that I am not alone has helped. Reminding myself of what I still have has helped. Wonderful colleagues who have shone kindness and compassion has helped. This helps quiet the mind, but I must admit my body definitely does not seem to want to let its guard down the majority of the time.
I suppose the main reason I wanted to write this was to say that it is okay if you don't have it together. Or you have good days, okay days, and ugly days. You can always message me if you need anything.
I plan to walk more, keep my patio door open more, and try my best to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.
This is hard. I think it's good to acknowledge that. Even if everyone has a different experience of what 'hard' is. It is still incredibly hard.
I am currently suffering from some really bad anxiety. It comes in waves and mostly hits me around 8 o'clock, the time where I close out my day, and switch over to more quiet time activities.
Sometimes my thoughts are directed toward worry about my students, my friends, and my family. Sometimes my fear is directed towards myself as my brain tricks me into thinking I am sick when I am not.
There are times that these thoughts have triggered panic attacks and then other times where I can feel my anxiety impact my body. In the form of muscle aches, headaches, racing heart, upset stomach, and a feeling of pressure in my chest. Sadly... some of these symptoms overlap with Covid-19 symptoms and then the anxiety increases even more.
I am currently trying to break this cycle and manage it since dealing with the biological impacts of stress or anxiety thoughts are not fun. Nor are they sustainable.
My life before all this was quite active... maybe even too active..
On my weekdays I would socialize with 200+ people. I would walk 15,00-25,000 steps whether I worked out or not. My mind was engaged in a million tasks for eight hours straight. I only sat down for twenty minutes from 8:00-3:30pm. On the weekends I would do reflective quiet things to process my week and sometimes even used that time to have quality time with friends or family. To go from that to this.... means I have a lot of unused energy that sadly are fixating on the worst.
Talking with friends has helped. Reminding myself that I am not alone has helped. Reminding myself of what I still have has helped. Wonderful colleagues who have shone kindness and compassion has helped. This helps quiet the mind, but I must admit my body definitely does not seem to want to let its guard down the majority of the time.
I suppose the main reason I wanted to write this was to say that it is okay if you don't have it together. Or you have good days, okay days, and ugly days. You can always message me if you need anything.
I plan to walk more, keep my patio door open more, and try my best to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.
This is hard. I think it's good to acknowledge that. Even if everyone has a different experience of what 'hard' is. It is still incredibly hard.
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