Transitions
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." - George Bernard Shaw
Change is everywhere in my life. Not that it was not there before, because it is apart of life and we change all the time. But currently everyone I love are going through moves, processing retirement, changing career focuses, ending monumental relationships, or reconnecting with themselves by focusing on health. Change is a scary word due to the fact that it requires some kind of loss and the requirement of taking on something new. I tend to focus on the change, but the conversations I had this week reminded me that change is the outside and transition is the mind. We cling to change without truly examining how our identities handle and transition to the change.
"Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t take." - William Bridges
Above is a quote from a book I plan to read that talks all about the psychology of transition. Change may or may not be in your control, but effective change has to be an inward undertaking. Speaking on a personal level the biggest transition in my life is re-orienting myself to accept that I am a fit person and not a fat person. I never thought that this would be a thing, because I had always desired to be fit, but lots of things change especially when you lose 115 pounds. You have to transition your relationship with food, relationship with fitness, relationship with the people around you, and re-define who you are since doors were open for you that were never there before. Fashion and attractiveness is one of the areas that I have had major cognitive dissonance over. Or trusting that I can handle physical challenges or not understanding why I want to take those physical challenges. I was someone who would rather drink beer, talk ideas, and philosophize. Now I seem to be someone who wants to take action, explore, experiment, and take on challenges. The transition that I am working on is learning to trust my new self and quieting my cynical old self who keeps trying to tell me that I am being a poser.
True story. These inward conversations happen. The tension between being comfortable and the desire to embrace my readjusted identity.
“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it." - Nikki Giovanni
So to make it a bigger conversation. As we transition through the changes in our lives, whether it is re-defining ourselves after the end of a relationship, after a career change, after a physical move, after physical transformation, after having a family, or after your children have left the house. Make sure you embrace those inward conversations you might have as you shift yourself in your new reality. Transition can open more doors than shut. It can teach you new parts of yourself that may have always existed, but was hidden due to the old context. You are not a poser for taking on something new or trying new styles. You are being exactly who you need to be to genuinely take on everything you are going through and everything you are going to become.
Transition is important. It's not the change that makes us worried... it's the process. Use the process. Give yourself time to reflect as you move along.
Just be you. No one gets to define what that is except you.
Change is everywhere in my life. Not that it was not there before, because it is apart of life and we change all the time. But currently everyone I love are going through moves, processing retirement, changing career focuses, ending monumental relationships, or reconnecting with themselves by focusing on health. Change is a scary word due to the fact that it requires some kind of loss and the requirement of taking on something new. I tend to focus on the change, but the conversations I had this week reminded me that change is the outside and transition is the mind. We cling to change without truly examining how our identities handle and transition to the change.
"Change is situational. Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events, but rather the inner reorientation or self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes into your life. Without a transition, a change is just a rearrangement of the furniture. Unless transition happens, the change won’t work, because it doesn’t take." - William Bridges
Above is a quote from a book I plan to read that talks all about the psychology of transition. Change may or may not be in your control, but effective change has to be an inward undertaking. Speaking on a personal level the biggest transition in my life is re-orienting myself to accept that I am a fit person and not a fat person. I never thought that this would be a thing, because I had always desired to be fit, but lots of things change especially when you lose 115 pounds. You have to transition your relationship with food, relationship with fitness, relationship with the people around you, and re-define who you are since doors were open for you that were never there before. Fashion and attractiveness is one of the areas that I have had major cognitive dissonance over. Or trusting that I can handle physical challenges or not understanding why I want to take those physical challenges. I was someone who would rather drink beer, talk ideas, and philosophize. Now I seem to be someone who wants to take action, explore, experiment, and take on challenges. The transition that I am working on is learning to trust my new self and quieting my cynical old self who keeps trying to tell me that I am being a poser.
True story. These inward conversations happen. The tension between being comfortable and the desire to embrace my readjusted identity.
“A lot of people resist transition and therefore never allow themselves to enjoy who they are. Embrace the change, no matter what it is; once you do, you can learn about the new world you're in and take advantage of it." - Nikki Giovanni
So to make it a bigger conversation. As we transition through the changes in our lives, whether it is re-defining ourselves after the end of a relationship, after a career change, after a physical move, after physical transformation, after having a family, or after your children have left the house. Make sure you embrace those inward conversations you might have as you shift yourself in your new reality. Transition can open more doors than shut. It can teach you new parts of yourself that may have always existed, but was hidden due to the old context. You are not a poser for taking on something new or trying new styles. You are being exactly who you need to be to genuinely take on everything you are going through and everything you are going to become.
Transition is important. It's not the change that makes us worried... it's the process. Use the process. Give yourself time to reflect as you move along.
Just be you. No one gets to define what that is except you.
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