Biggest Life Lesson
The biggest life lessons are actually quiet, gradual, and you will be sitting randomly drinking a cup of Earl Grey as it slowly creeps to the conscious part of your mind. Or at least that's how it happened to me.
One of the most common questions on journaling topic lists are:
Curious Kid:
Life is a journey and when you start you are open to everything. You are a kid. Everything around you is exciting and unknown. So you seize the day and do crazy dangerous things like put a key in a socket, because you were pretending to drive the DeLorean. You are excited about school and you can imagine yourself doing anything. Life is mystery and it's fun.
Dissonant Adolescent:
This phase of life is when curiosity is overcome by a different primary function risk-aversion. You become more closed off and less-willing to take risks. Even the students seem the most open are fighting an internal battle between what they want and what they think is expected of them. You feel like the mistakes you make and the challenges you face are unique and you are alone, but truly it is universal. You want to be loved for who you are, but you rarely show it because you desire to be accepted more than anything else in the world. You try different versions of yourself, fall-out with friends, and make many mistakes along the way. You feel uncomfortable and torn. Everything feels like its at the crossroads.
One of the most common questions on journaling topic lists are:
- What is a lesson you wish you could go back in time and tell your sixteen year old self?
- What is the biggest lesson you have learned in life?
So as cliched as it seems, I decided to take this topic on, because I believe this is a lesson that would work in any phase of life.
Phases of Life:
Phases of Life:
Curious Kid:
Life is a journey and when you start you are open to everything. You are a kid. Everything around you is exciting and unknown. So you seize the day and do crazy dangerous things like put a key in a socket, because you were pretending to drive the DeLorean. You are excited about school and you can imagine yourself doing anything. Life is mystery and it's fun.
Dissonant Adolescent:
This phase of life is when curiosity is overcome by a different primary function risk-aversion. You become more closed off and less-willing to take risks. Even the students seem the most open are fighting an internal battle between what they want and what they think is expected of them. You feel like the mistakes you make and the challenges you face are unique and you are alone, but truly it is universal. You want to be loved for who you are, but you rarely show it because you desire to be accepted more than anything else in the world. You try different versions of yourself, fall-out with friends, and make many mistakes along the way. You feel uncomfortable and torn. Everything feels like its at the crossroads.
Pompous Young Adult:
In this phase, you have gotten a taste of freedom and maybe even encountered some new responsibility. You are interacting with people outside of your community. This new freedom gives you a little confidence, but you are not quite settled yet. Sometimes this gives you air of arrogance. You might even start questioning your parents more or start to say phrases that showcase your new found wisdom like: "if I taught this class.." "when I become a parent..." "if I was a music producer..." You become this self-certified expert, but the truth is you are scared and this bravado is false. You have a little taste of things, but you are still fighting for respect and to be accepted. Now you just handle it with an air of professionalism with the little experience you've been given.
In this phase, you have gotten a taste of freedom and maybe even encountered some new responsibility. You are interacting with people outside of your community. This new freedom gives you a little confidence, but you are not quite settled yet. Sometimes this gives you air of arrogance. You might even start questioning your parents more or start to say phrases that showcase your new found wisdom like: "if I taught this class.." "when I become a parent..." "if I was a music producer..." You become this self-certified expert, but the truth is you are scared and this bravado is false. You have a little taste of things, but you are still fighting for respect and to be accepted. Now you just handle it with an air of professionalism with the little experience you've been given.
Possible Regression or Stagnant Growth (Not Always):
Then you might go through the adolescent phase again, because you realize your bravado is false. And you are trying to fit into your new job and you want to be this way, but it doesn't quite feel natural for you. You start second guessing everything. Create lots of drama for yourself. Or worse.... you get stuck in the false bravado stage and never get out of it. I know some people.
Then you might go through the adolescent phase again, because you realize your bravado is false. And you are trying to fit into your new job and you want to be this way, but it doesn't quite feel natural for you. You start second guessing everything. Create lots of drama for yourself. Or worse.... you get stuck in the false bravado stage and never get out of it. I know some people.
Wise Adult:
But hopefully, eventually, you get to this beautiful place that allows you to let out the breath you never knew you were holding. You can just be you. You know yourself. You lived through some things. You've made some mistakes. You may have been humbled a couple of times. You realize you still have a lot to learn. Unlike that young adult phase, it excites you, and gives you drive to learn. It is more like the young kid, but you understand that your imagination must be controlled in the name of not being electrocuted. You realize you impress people by just being yourself, being true, and working hard.
Life Lesson
That being said. My lesson is not to prevent those phases from happening, because to be honest they all need to happen. Even if it's uncomfortable. My life lesson is really about avoiding that possible regression and stagnant area of life that I do see in people. So my advice is CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF.
Everyday take a moment to see where you are. To listen to what you want, what you need, and to figure out what is working and what is not working. This seems simple, but it is the easiest thing in the world to not do. Life gets busy and we go through the motions then get stuck. We put others before ourselves so much that we actually lose ourselves. Or we might be too scared to have this self-talk, because we know the conversation will be brutal. Most people don't reflect not because they can't, but because they make no time too. Check in. Take ten minutes every day to breathe, think, write, walk, and just let yourself see what you need. This is how you can continue to grow and how you will always keep yourself moving in the right direction.
But hopefully, eventually, you get to this beautiful place that allows you to let out the breath you never knew you were holding. You can just be you. You know yourself. You lived through some things. You've made some mistakes. You may have been humbled a couple of times. You realize you still have a lot to learn. Unlike that young adult phase, it excites you, and gives you drive to learn. It is more like the young kid, but you understand that your imagination must be controlled in the name of not being electrocuted. You realize you impress people by just being yourself, being true, and working hard.
Life Lesson
That being said. My lesson is not to prevent those phases from happening, because to be honest they all need to happen. Even if it's uncomfortable. My life lesson is really about avoiding that possible regression and stagnant area of life that I do see in people. So my advice is CHECK IN WITH YOURSELF.
Everyday take a moment to see where you are. To listen to what you want, what you need, and to figure out what is working and what is not working. This seems simple, but it is the easiest thing in the world to not do. Life gets busy and we go through the motions then get stuck. We put others before ourselves so much that we actually lose ourselves. Or we might be too scared to have this self-talk, because we know the conversation will be brutal. Most people don't reflect not because they can't, but because they make no time too. Check in. Take ten minutes every day to breathe, think, write, walk, and just let yourself see what you need. This is how you can continue to grow and how you will always keep yourself moving in the right direction.
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