Self-Responsibility & Self-Agency
The biggest difference between those who are mature and those who are immature are the elements of self-responsibility and accepting self-agency.
We cannot change the actions of others, we cannot change the way people think, we cannot control aspects of life beyond our control, but we can make sure we take care of ourselves. If you put your happiness in the hands of anyone else you will be disappointed. Not necessarily because you will not find good friends or good significant others, but because people are human and busy themselves. Life happens. If I do not communicate my needs and expect people to know what to do then is it my fault that I am not happy or the people in my life? I would say, it would be mine.
In High School, I blamed a lot of people for my unhappiness. I blamed my classmates, I blamed my teachers, and I blamed society as well. I was angry. I knew what I wanted and it just seemed like everyone had something to say about it. Truth is though I was just a stubborn kid who had a hard time with criticism and understanding that I needed to change just as much everyone else. I was not blameless. I also never gave anyone a chance to really help me, because I never truly communicated my discontent until I lost my temper. Truth is when you are in school and you have a special label whether it is SPED, 504, or ELL you feel like everything you do is judged. You feel the pressure. Might not be real, but it certainly impacts your psyche. I was one of those kids and I hated being one of those kids. I hated the feeling of being watched. Hell, even today, I still feel claustrophobic when I feel like I am being micromanaged.
But the difference between myself now and myself then is that I understand what is in the realm of my responsibility. Me. I determine my actions and reactions. I take responsibility for what I do, I need to communicate my needs, make sure I take care of myself, and do the best I can in every aspect of my life. No one else can do this for me. I have to do this myself. The change starts with me every single time. My resource teacher always told me that when you are a struggling kid you need to communicate more than your average person. You need to make sure that you are not ignored. You need to make sure you ask for clarity the moment it starts to get confusing, so that a small confusion does not become a complicated one. I think she was onto something. Everything starts with the self. To not embrace that will result in complacency or becoming bitter. Options I never want.
So just wanted you to know. I believe everyone is stronger than they think. You got this.
"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And you are the one who'll decide where to go."
- Dr. Seuss
We cannot change the actions of others, we cannot change the way people think, we cannot control aspects of life beyond our control, but we can make sure we take care of ourselves. If you put your happiness in the hands of anyone else you will be disappointed. Not necessarily because you will not find good friends or good significant others, but because people are human and busy themselves. Life happens. If I do not communicate my needs and expect people to know what to do then is it my fault that I am not happy or the people in my life? I would say, it would be mine.
In High School, I blamed a lot of people for my unhappiness. I blamed my classmates, I blamed my teachers, and I blamed society as well. I was angry. I knew what I wanted and it just seemed like everyone had something to say about it. Truth is though I was just a stubborn kid who had a hard time with criticism and understanding that I needed to change just as much everyone else. I was not blameless. I also never gave anyone a chance to really help me, because I never truly communicated my discontent until I lost my temper. Truth is when you are in school and you have a special label whether it is SPED, 504, or ELL you feel like everything you do is judged. You feel the pressure. Might not be real, but it certainly impacts your psyche. I was one of those kids and I hated being one of those kids. I hated the feeling of being watched. Hell, even today, I still feel claustrophobic when I feel like I am being micromanaged.
But the difference between myself now and myself then is that I understand what is in the realm of my responsibility. Me. I determine my actions and reactions. I take responsibility for what I do, I need to communicate my needs, make sure I take care of myself, and do the best I can in every aspect of my life. No one else can do this for me. I have to do this myself. The change starts with me every single time. My resource teacher always told me that when you are a struggling kid you need to communicate more than your average person. You need to make sure that you are not ignored. You need to make sure you ask for clarity the moment it starts to get confusing, so that a small confusion does not become a complicated one. I think she was onto something. Everything starts with the self. To not embrace that will result in complacency or becoming bitter. Options I never want.
So just wanted you to know. I believe everyone is stronger than they think. You got this.
"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And you are the one who'll decide where to go."
- Dr. Seuss
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